Note to New Parents Who Want a Good Night's Sleep

THIS POST IS A NOTE THAT I WROTE TO A FELLOW NEW DAD WHO IS FRUSTRATED ABOUT NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP AT NIGHT. I FIGURED I'D ADD THE NOTE TO MY BLOG FOR OTHER PARENTS OUT THERE. THESE TIPS WORK JUST AS WELL FOR MOM'S OR DAD'S.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO FORWARD THIS NOTE TO YOUR FRIEND, FEEL FREE!

Dear Friend,

This is Ken, who has a newborn boy (just about 1 month old).

They tell me that you and your wife are having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and that it is driving you nuts.

I can relate because even the few times that I have to be awake at night can be grueling and frustrating.

I will tell you before I give my tips, that our baby does still wakes up 2 to 3 times per night, but instead of being up for an hour or more like when we first started, he generally wakes up for a changing and / or feeding and then that’s all he needs.

The longest we’ve had him sleep at a time is 5 hours, so hopefully you’re not looking for a magic 8 hour trick as I have not found that one yet. Remember, newborns do need to eat and poop often.

Here’s some tips that I have received and how they did or did not work.

1. Use a pacifier.
   We weren’t keen on the pacifier idea anyway, so as soon as he rejected it… we rejected it.
   
   
2. Feed every hour on the hour starting at 6 or 7 pm until you go to bed.
   This sounded good in theory, but in practice he ended up needing to wake up for more changes and he wanted to eat again anyway.
   
   
3. Tummy Time works if you can do it for more than 30 minutes (we’re up to over an hour on the floor at a time).
   I would amend this to be called floor time, because as you noticed, your baby doesn’t take the tummy right away and play time is over in about 30 seconds or less.

Ok… so of the three methods above, floor time was by far the most successful. The concept is quite simple. Work him out and he’ll be tuckered out.

Now I should start by noting that the stay-at-home parent should do workouts and other developmental practices early in the day as that is when the child is most apt to be alert and thus learn the most from your efforts. With that said, it’s not the afternoon that you are hoping to get the kid to sleep through, rather the nighttime, so I practiced floor time in the evening in order to get him to sleep through the night. Now he’s on the floor just about anytime he’s awake, and actually right now he’s taking a snooze on the floor as we already did some morning time play.

So, how do you do floor time if your baby starts crying???

Here’s how. First, understand the concept of Tummy Time and realize that it is needed to counter balance all the time on the back (especially when we are told to sleep the baby on the back to avoid SIDS). While my baby is napping on his belly as I write this, we put our baby to sleep on it’s back like “normal” parents. However, now that he’s has so many hours on his belly, I have no problem letting him nap on his belly while supervised.

Ok… so now let’s bend your brain and turn your activity from “Tummy Time” to “Floor Time”. You’re going to tucker him out if you can get him moving. So, if you give up too easily by putting him on his stomach, hearing him cry and then getting frustrated… start on the back.

Here’s some tips for getting him from the back to the stomach:

1. Get on the floor with your child.
   Lying down next to him will help him understand the floor is not bad. Standing over him wondering why he doesn’t get it won’t help at all. Re-think how you feel about the floor.
   
   
2. Realize your child is safe on the floor.
   It’s hard to fall from the floor… you’re already there! This means you can let him move freely without worrying about harming himself (obviously keep small and sharp objects out of reach).
   
   
3. Play with your child.
   Make it fun. Some of the activity will be work… so make it as fun as you can (just like playing sports is work but fun at the same time).
   
   
4. Start on his back if he’s uncomfortable on his stomach.
   From his back you can roll him all the way to one side, and then all the way back to the other. Eventually you can roll him all the way to his tummy and then back.
   
   
5. Roll him to his tummy rather than placing him on his tummy.
   If you pick him up off his back to put him down on his stomach… get used to doing that forever. Rather roll him to his front so his brain starts to figure out… I can do this.
   
   
6. Tummy Time is easy once the child realizes he can get to his back or side or where ever he wants to be.
   
   
7. When a baby is fussing while on his tummy and moving his legs… realize that he isn’t yet crying.
   While the longer the child lays there frustrated that they can’t move will eventually result in full on crying, it is important to realize that fussing is something he is going to do while he tries to figure out how his body moves. Don’t be discouraged by the fussing and realize its different then crying and you will on your way.
   
   If your spouse can’t stand to see them fuss, tell them to take a little walk around the block or something, because it’ll be over in no time. Not letting them fuss and work will be your biggest mistake. You’ll be robbing them of the activity and teaching them that crying is the only way to get attention.
   
   
8. When the baby does cry, roll them back to the back and you should see them settle down.
   Leave them on their back too long and they’ll cry until you roll them onto their belly. Eventually they will roll themselves when they want.
   
   
9. Take it slow. Don’t expect to get everything done in one sitting. Start with 10-20 minutes on the floor, then progress to a half hour or more. Within days you will be doing over an hour on the floor without noticing it and your baby will sleep much better at night.
   
   
10. Lastly… IMPORTANT NOTE!!! Try stopping the floor time BEFORE he wants to stop.
    Try for too long and he’ll get upset and not want to get down there again next time.
    
    Get him off the activity early and he’ll long for the next time he can play.

You can see some videos of me doing this on my blog at www.bestdadblog.com (see links in the sidebar). Also note that I started floor time activities on day one, so if it takes a few days or even a week to see “real” results, don’t worry, you’ll get there.

One last note… you should get some sort of a mat or play area that is designated for floor time, that way when you get down on the mat with him, he’ll know what’s up.

Remember, your child loves you and wants to spend every waking moment with you. If you fill it with fun and learning and activity, he’ll sleep great. If you don’t, he’ll keep you up until you pay attention to him.

Good luck,

Ken Collins

Co-Founder www.eXerciseFriends.com
Chief Technology Officer www.birth2work.org
Writer / Owner www.bestdadblog.com

3 weeks old - audio, visual and physical stimulation

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!!

Well, my boy is now 3 weeks old and he's been working more on rolling over and crawling, as well as some new things.

Seems like ages since his first photo (shown below)

In today's video essay, I'll show some work we've been doing with light and sound stimulation. Lastly, I'll show you some rolling over that we practiced today.

It's really neat to see him learn with each day that we play, and it's fun to practice some of the things I learned at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential.


LIGHT / VISUAL STIMULATION

In the following videos I'll show you some light stimulation we've been doing. Keep in mind that we've been playing with light since the day he was born.

The first day of life I took him into a dark room and turned on the lights... let his eyes adjust and then turned them off. I repeated it three times while telling him what I was doing. While I do not have video of this practice, I can say it was worth while and got him to recognize light, shapes and shadows right off the bat. The nurses even made mention of how alert he was and he seemed to see much more than babies are "supposed" to.

Anyway, back to what I DO have videos of.

In the following video I show you how I used a flashlight to stimulate his visual senses.

You should be able to notice him follow the light with his eyes and even move his head to find the light.

In this next video, he is clearly following the light move around him.

And in the next video we do a little more playing with the flashlight, blinking the light and counting to ten.

So not only is he getting his visual stimulation, but now he's learning his numbers too!!! Not bad for 3 weeks old. He makes it look as easy as 1-2-3.

SOUND / AUDIO STIMULATION

Next up we have audio stimulation using crackling sounds.

And in this video you can see him clearly react to the sound.

And here you can see him starting to find the noise maker all by himself.

This is part of the learning process and it's pretty cool to see him interacting.

It's pretty cool to see him figuring things out as we play.

SOUND AND VISUAL - PUTTING IT TOGETHER

Ok... so in this next video he follows the lights and the sounds. He even starts to reach for the noise maker himself.

With his improving vision and dexterity, he'll be reaching and grabbing for things in no time.

ROLLING OVER - 360 DEGREES

In the next video you'll see me assist him in rolling completely over and then all the way back to the other side.

Now in my last blog post you saw him roll all by himself. In this next video you'll see me assist him all the way over (360 degrees) and then him rolling half way over (180 degrees) all by himself.

Ok... that's it for today's blog.

I hope you enjoy the videos and our developmental progress.

The first 2 weeks of life: a photo / video essay of early child development

Well, it's been a while since I've updated my blog, so I'll have to catch up a bit.

The pregnancy went very well... pretty much text book. Each visit confirmed our baby was getting more and more healthy and mom and child grew together as dad patiently waited his turn to care for his seed.

Since the last time I posted, I've attended a week long parenting course at the Institutes for the Achievement of Human Potential. The course was called "How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence" but it could have easily been named "This Course Multiplies a Parent's Intelligence". I could not say enough good things about the Institute, so I will just say I whole heartedly endorse the course and the work they do for well babies and brain injured children. If you have any thoughts at all of attending a course in parent training... this is the course!

The institutes taught me a LOT of things and reinforced thoughts I already / naturally had about parenting and a child's development. Mostly it armed me with the information I needed to jump start my child's education, intelligence and motor development.

You may notice me reference the Institute in future posts as I try to demonstrate some of the knowledge I attained.

Tonight, on the 2 week aniversary of my baby's birth, I'll upload some photos and videos from the last 14 days and show how I started on day one to get my child to where he is today... a whopping 2 weeks old.

SO BEGINS THE JOURNEY

Below I'm going to post a photo / video essay of the first 2 weeks and my baby boy's early child development.

FIRST GLIMPSE

Here's my boy only seconds out of the womb... still attached to mom at this point.

CUTTING THE CORD

It's kind of difficult to see, but I'm the white armed, white gloved guy cutting the cord. The cord was a tougher consistancy than I expected... a bit rubbery if you care to know.

EARLY BONDING

This was the first time I got to hold him and I was in such a zone I didn't even realize I still had on the surgical mask. I was actually told "you can take the mask off now" which I found to be a bit humerous. I forgot it was on and would have probably worn it all day if I wasn't told otherwise.

SKIN TO SKIN BONDING

This is a few minutes later. I finally have the mask off and got out of my sterile suit. The nurses were going to bundle him up or I could opt to go skin to skin. I picked skin to skin of course and begun the bonding process. My boy and I grew pretty close that day and closer every minute and every day of his life. We're best pals now (although he might put mom a bit higher on his top friends list).

BEING SILLY

In case you thought I was an ivy league hoity toity because I took a "How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence" course at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential... I just wanted to correct that possible misconeption with my kid's first goofy dad pic.

I'm a normal guy, with goofy tendancies and a brilliant, beautiful little boy.

OK... SO HERE'S THE DEVELOPMENT PART

In the following videos I will show you some things I did on day 1 and then my boy's progress at 2 weeks of age.

SIDE TO SIDE DAY 1

So, this is day 1 and as you can see, his side to side action is being manipulated by me, rather than doing it himself. I didn't expect my child to come out knowing everything, so here's one of my early attempts at showing him that there is more to life than being swaddled, laying on his back and sleeping. Check out the 2 videos below to see what he's doing by week 2. Make no mistake, these early movements and manipulation are intentional and pay dividends as demonstrated in the next videos.

ROLLING OVER - WEEEK 2

So here he is at week 2. He's rolling over all by himself. Now since you are reading this, you probably can't remember learning how to roll over for the first time, but I can assure you there are other babies out there that are not doing this yet and they are 2 months older than him.

Now I'll agree that it's not totally amazing, but it is one of his first steps towards physical excellence and if you look back at the video before this, you should see that the activity that was assisted on day one is now being done all by his self by week 2 (by the way, he's been doing this for a few days now). And for those of you who are only midly impressed but think it might be a fluke manuver... check out the next video to see that he can pretty much do this whenever he wants to (if you listen to me, talk you'll notice that he seems to understand what I'm asking him to do... take my word for it, he doesn't just roll on his back all day. He knew what he was doing).

2 WEEK OLD BABY - ROLLING OVER AGAIN

As you can see, rolling over is no fluke. He really know's how to do it (Albeit a little reluctant in this video). Remember, the kid is not a circus act, so rolling over just because dad says so is not always going to be what he considers fun. Actually, even though he is crying, he is fussing mostly because what he is doing IS hard. It's a lot of work to coordinate all those muscles and get that body turned. Most babies have floppy necks at this stage of life and he's using it as a lever to flip himself over. For those thinking I'm pushing my kid a little too far, please note that this activity took less than 3 minutes of his day and the other 23 plus hours I spent loving and caring and tending to his every whim... just like a "normal" parent ;)

2 DAYS OLD - CRAWLING AND CLIMBING

My boy got "tummy time" from day one. In fact the first couple of days he nearly lived on my stomache and chest while mom recovered from a very tough day following a tough 9 months. If you scroll up and look at one of the first pictures posted in this photo video essay, you'll notice we started belly to belly just moments out of the womb (for those who do not know what tummy time is, please see link above and don't mistake stomache to stomache skin to skin as tummy time). Hopefully my aside didn't confuse you, but if we look at the video directly above you'll see that the baby is on his belly, moving his feet and arms and scootches his way from my belly button to my neck. This was not floor time which many would consider to be tummy time, but he was definitely getting his and you'll see how it pays off in later videos.

2 WEEK OLD BABY - ALMOST CRAWLING

OK, OK... so calling this crawling is kind of a strech, but you should notice that he is definitely moving his legs in an attempt to move himself accross the floor. The surface is a bit slick and he's still working on getting his arms to cooperate, but he'll be motoring in no time. You should notice that the scootching he does on his second day of life in the preceeding video is starting to pay off and he'll soon be moving about the house all on his own.

SO WHAT, WHO CARES???

I care. I care a lot actually. I care so much about what I'm writing about today that I'm taking precious moments of sleep-time and moments of my child's early life to document some of what I've learned and what I'm doing to give my child the best start at life. I write this BLOG to journal my child's develpmental journey, so I can look back and fondly remember the little things in life that make a big difference. I also write in hopes to inspire other dads to take the time and effort to make your child's early days the foundational building blocks he or she needs to develop into the self sufficient brilliant child you know they can be.

If you cherish the great moments growing up with your dad as much as I do, you should understand how important it is to have these great moments with your kid.

In an attempt to be the best dad I can be... I vow to have as many great moments as possible!

Here's me an my son enjoying one of those moments